i believe i owe you an

update.

I didn't get to Lebanon. In fact, I barely got in Syria. After 20 minutes at the border, Syrian security informed me that I would have to return to Jordan, immediately. The infuriatingly long day of trying to get a transit visa, I realized my Arabic was pretty good. And I decided, that since travel to Lebanon overland was impossible, I would go visit my friend Dina in Haifa. It had been forever.

I spent 4 nights in Israel, all at Dina's new house. Her mom was incredibly sweet and fed me nonstop, and we also had some very interesting conversations. Her five-year-old brother Osher and her eight-year-old sister Orel were adorable, and they helped me to relearn and get back on track with the Hebrew I was desperately trying to find in my head. We played so many games, and we went to the playground once, even, where we played some games I never had heard of until that night. And Dina, we spent such good time together and talked about a number of different things. Some very heavy conversations that helped me realize that, wow, I'm about to enter a very very very different environment. All kinds of confusion and emotions to think about. Let's just say I've got my work cut out for me in terms of figuring out how to relate to this whole situation next semester.

Been speaking about these issues, like who am I to change someone else's society, an imperialist? with some friends here, but then again, it always ends up somewhere else because I am Jewish. Israel is a self-proclaimed Jewish state, and its existence relies heavily on the fact that should I need to, I have a place for refuge, being a Jew. In addition to that, no matter where I go, being Jewish means I am associated with the large community of Jews in Israel and its government. Israel exists for and represents me, and therefore I should have a right to play a role in its society and progress. And I do not tolerate racism, whether it is exerted on denationalized Palestinians in the West Bank and elsewhere in refuge or whether it is exerted on Israel's own Arab citizens who can never do enough to be treated equally by their own government. I understand that the notions of racism are portrayed and understood very differently in a wide part of Israeli society, but my understanding of this sensitive subject is influenced largely by my upbringing in the US, where racism is something that our country has been battling for hundreds of years and continues to fight today. And it's not just racism, it's prejudice against any certain group. This is a global issue that must be addressed, whether there is popular support for or against it, in all places on this planet.

Moving on, I had some trouble returning from Israel. There was a Hannukah party in Amman that some official people from a country nearby had invited us, the Jews and some other notable people in Jordan, to attend. I thought about going and decided I probably wouldn't because it was Jackie's last night in Jordan. However, had I gotten back in time, perhaps I would have convinced Jackie to come with Ari and I. As I keep inferring, I did not have enough time to make that decision. The Allenby Bridge closed just before I arrived with my taxi driver, forcing me to travel all the way back to the North in order to cross that bridge before it closed. Well, that sure cost a pretty penny getting up north again, and then coming back down south in Jordan.

But that's not all.

Upon exiting the West Bank, there's a little checkpoint. My Arab Israeli taxi driver, who has never been stopped at one in his life, and myself, the American Jew, were seen as a suspicious bunch, I suppose. We were taken aside, next to a large van of Arabs, some of which spoke Hebrew. As we waited for instructions, several cars passed through the checkpoint without delay. My driver kept asking what the problem was, as did I. I was surprised that my American passport was so suspicious to them, but they did ask me at one point if I had another passport. I did not mention that I was Jewish, as I did not think it was relevant (well obviously it was, but is it fair for us to skip ahead this large group of Arabs?)... We waited, they asked us to get out of the car, open every door, the trunk, the hood, take everything out, bring it in to get checked. The car was sniffed by dogs, our bags and items were x-rayed, we were sent through a metal detector and patted down thoroughly, and then we had to wait in a fenced in area with the other group until it was time. No, you may not close your car. No, you may not leave. It isn't important why those people can pass. We waited about an hour before it was time for us to become "free" again. As I went in to fetch my belongings, I spoke with one of the guards who seemed to be a ringleader. We were free, but I thought I might give her a piece of my mind. It went, in wonderful Hebrew, something like this:

I am an American Jew, and I am on my way to Amman, Jordan because I studied Arabic there for a semester. Because of this, I am late to a Hannukah party hosted by the Ishpaeli Shmembassy (maybe I shouldn't type it out for security reasons). Never in my life did I imagine that the Israeli army would make me, a Jew, late for something like this, but at the same time, it does not surprise me. Chag Sameach.

Her jaw dropped, and I exited, proud. She walked back to her other companions and looking at me, must have been telling them the story. I discussed this with my taxi driver afterward, who kindly was taking me 4 hours out of his way so that I could get back to Jordan, even though I paid, it was such a schlep. He told me that he's married to a Jewish woman, and I told him how beautiful I thought that was. We bonded for a moment, and I'm sorry I didn't get his number because he was so cool. I got to Jordan, got to Amman, and spent the night with my friends. It was a long, tiring day, but it was an experience. I zig-zagged through all of the northern half of Israel and the West Bank, saw a lot of things that I forgot to describe, but it's okay, I'll tell you when I see you, and I saw, firsthand, the racism that is not only accepted but also made part of the system.

Just doing some errands this week, getting things together, and taking in the city through this very strong wind-sandstorm that has engulfed the city. Spending time with friends that I won't be as close to next semester. Enjoy some photographs from the past week or so...

--Ibrahim

PS - Merry Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!

see more pwn and owned pictures

media

Hello, folks. It turns out I cannot upload the videos I intended to share from this connection. Ya haraam. However, I would like to share with you my photographs from this past week's ventures into Israel as well as beforehand, when Lippers came to visit...

It's been interesting being back here. I feel comfortable but almost expecting people to just loosen up a bit or something? Not people I know, but people in general. It feels a bit more claustrophobic than I left it. Maybe that's just me comparing the liberalness of some people in their conservative surroundings whereas in Israel it's a small conservativeness surrounded by liberal surroundings. Everything feels more open there: discussions, expression of self, everything. So I have less of a filter here now, and maybe I should cool off and go back to being more cautious as I was prior to this trip, but at the same time I feel comfortable enough that I'm not being disrespectful.

Passport stuff in line, got my stamps transferred, and nothing can stop me from getting to Lebanon now except the Syrians! Wish me luck. Funny story, today at the residency office here in Amman, the man who was going to stamp my new passport and I were conversing, small talk, and he threw in a "Kul beseder?" Huuuhhhh?! :-\ I said "mish fahim, shu y3ani?" to avoid it, and he just smiled. This man assumed I spoke Hebrew somehow, I guess he could tell from my name or he just knew I was transferring the stamp because I had traveled to Israel in the other passport. Either way, it was kind of ridiculous. Almost as ridiculous as the guy, originally from Irbid, who served us falafel in Jaffa who said "Ahalan wa sahalan fil Urdun" (Welcome to Jordan). In Jaffa! Seriously, only in this world.

Fare thee well!

--Ibrahim

warm light on a winter's day

I'm not sure where I last left you, O my faithful readers. However, I do know this. I tried to get some videos up before I left for the holiday this week, but I didn't get there. As a result, the next post will have videos for your entertainment, and it should be up shortly after this one.

Classes have wrapped up, really, no more. Khalas. It was a quick end, some of the professors weren't quite aware that it was happening when it was, but it happened. I am left now with two exams (one tomorrow and one the next day) and a paper due sometime this week. The exams are Arabic language, Modern Standard, and the paper is about Islam. I'm thinking about writing about gender roles in Islam and how it is one point of contention between the West and the Muslim World that may never reach a middle ground. At least not blanket, of course in communities it varies, but we're talking about the religious beliefs and the societies that prescribe to them versus the general Western culture in Europe, Australia, North America, and other parts of the world.

Moving on from that, let's discuss some other things. The travel policy changed for our program, not sure if I mentioned that yet. So Ari and I went to Israel for Eid al-Adha. So did a bunch of other people from the program, and they seem to be very impressed with the place, as they should be, it's unreal what they have done with that land. "You know where I lie politically," they would say, "but wow is that place impressive or what!?" I don't really know where they lie politically, but I just went with it. But let's get back to my experience.

I felt a bit uncomfortable at first because I was tired, hungry, and undergoing severe culture-shock. It was the first time I had left Jordan since I first arrived here, and I was blinded by green, wet from the rain, and couldn't figure out what was going on around me. I got over the bad mood, and we spent our first night in a hotel in Metula which neither of us should have afforded.

Metula... There's a small town in the very north of Israel in a tiny little piece of land that sticks right into Lebanon called Metula. In this tiny town there is a place called the Canada Center where Arab and Jewish Israelis flock to try something in which both groups are just not talented--ice skating. It was fascinating. Ari volunteered there for a while during his year living in Israel after high school, so we got in for free--sweet. I enjoyed circling around, and a group of Arabs from a school near Nazareth came in. I ended up talking to just about all of them, in Arabic of course, and teaching some of them some technique cause they asked--ridiculous because Ari is meanwhile flying around the place doing jumps and spins and whatnot, the whole time complaining about how bad he is because he doesn't have his skates and he's not warmed up, but what did he expect? He was a star. Meanwhile there I am showing kids just simply how to move. It was really fun, and a very interesting experience to speak in Arabic in Israel with these kids. They were very impressed that I spoke at all, let alone with some competency, and it made me feel very excited for the opportunities that are coming next semester.

We spent two nights with Ari's cousin and her husband in Ramat Gan, a city right next to Tel Aviv. They are incredibly sweet, and very smart. We had great conversations about everything, and laughed a lot. Our full day in Tel Aviv, we walked the whole city. Walked with our jaws dropped at the big trees, the green everywhere, and made our way to the beach to enjoy the sound of the waves and the breeze off of the water under a nice warm sun. We then walked down to Yaffa, the old port city that Tel Aviv was built next to--you know it, I'm sure. It's so pretty, and we spoke more Arabic. I swear, this experience was totally different because everywhere we went, we could speak the local language. What a concept! Got great falaf, walked around, and watched the sun set from the rocks above the beach by the promenade. It was beautiful. Not to mention the culture in Yaffa! An Arab city with Arab kids making out on the beach, in gardens, with nobody to judge them. It was beautiful. The chances of that happening in public in Amman are just about zero, and it's very interesting to see how quickly the culture changes just after you cross the border. So close, but such a different world.

We got to Jerusalem the next day and met up with Jackie and Nancy, her mom who is in town for a while. It was great to see them and hear their stories about border/security crossings, exploring East Jerusalem and the Old City, and good food. We ate some good food and went to Marzipan to get the best ruggelach in the world. 2 kilos to bring home to Ari's host family and our own indulgence. We dropped them off at the Christian quarter where we took a few pictures, and headed out to Haifa.

It was interesting being at the University. I loved seeing Marnina, Alicia, and Jeff, and I even got to see Miriam for a minute! We took some Brandeis reunion photos. I met a few people who would be there next semester as well, and it was nice. Not sure I am thrilled to hear about the academics, specifically the Arabic program. And the housing situation is a difficult decision. There are really nice dorms and old and less nice ("disgusting") dorms. If I live in the new ones, I will most likely be living with Israeli Jews, which would be wonderful. However, I kind of want to live with Arabs in order to keep up with my colloquial Arabic and get a different perspective on living in Israel. The older dorms have more Arabs, and while I want to live in that setting, the older dorms are also double rooms (lack of privacy). Both options have ridiculous excuses for kitchens, so no huge meals like I'm used to here. I'm going to see if it's possible to live in the newer dorms with Arabs, and if not, I will probably live in the older ones. I mean come on, I've lived in terrible situations at Brandeis, I can handle it. And I'll have places to go if I need to sleep out, insha'allah...

Well, Haifa is beautiful, needless to say, and I got to see my good from Tom, who will not be around for the majority of the time I'll be there next year! He's going to South America, like many post-service Israelis. It's too bad, also, because he lives so close to the university, and he's one of the sweetest guys in the world. I'm really looking forward to having Allie there, though!! It's great because she's like family to me, and I'm really excited that we'll be there for each other in very pivotal points of our lives.

Sum it up? This trip to Israel was more frustrating than enjoyable, I must admit. I was frustrated with my decay in the Hebrew language, but then got into this funk where I didn't even want to try the rest of the week. What?! Me not wanting to try to speak in another language? I spoke much more Arabic this week than Hebrew. I was especially uncomfortable speaking Hebrew with Ari around because I felt that his experience in the language not only took care of whatever I needed or wanted to say, but I just couldn't keep up. When the train started rolling with him on it, I didn't grab on, so I just stayed put. My comprehension was better than I had imagined, but I just couldn't get anything out. It was so incredibly frustrating! On top of that, I also realized that my open-mindedness and exposure to the Arab world is very unique in Israel. Very many people are open-minded, but they may not have the experiences that I have in living among Arabs in the way that I have. My experiences are very strange to them, and that will not change. And that makes me proud. I know that my experience next semester will be extremely unique, and that makes me feel so powerful and capable of digging into the society in unique ways. I feel like I'm going to learn so much, and that's such a beautiful feeling! But still, I need some sort of respite or something, and maybe another trip back there on my own in order to just plant my feet a little.

So here I am back in Amman, cleaned a lot today in order to get ready for our apartment inspection. Place looks good. I haven't studied yet, and I know I need to start to get on that for my test tomorrow. I'm not sure which one will be harder, but I do know that I haven't started my paper either. The next few days will go quickly, and then it's on to Lebanon for me, assuming I get through Syria. Wish me luck!

--Ibrahim or Avraham, and sometimes both.

never sick of stuffing

Or sweet potatoes.

From Thanksgiving in Amman

I invite you all to see the beautiful photographs from our Thanksgiving dinner here in Amman, Jordan. We managed to pull it off despite initial fears when the gas went out. Turkey, sweet potatoes, macaroni and cheese, broccoli kuggel, mashed potatoes, stuffing, stuffing, vegetarian stuffing, pies, and fudge! There was more, too, I'm sure. Jackie was a perfect host, and the meal was delicious.

After the meal we fell onto the couches and did not move. We watched the news intently about Mumbai, saw some Rihanna music videos on Polska tv, and called our respective families back home. I got jealous when Ari's whole family crowded in front of the webcam to say hello and ask him what Arabic words he could say because I got my parents a webcam but it isn't setup since they moved. It's been months since they moved, and I just wish I could have seen them by now, especially last night. Still, I spoke with everyone a bunch of times, and it was really nice. It sounded like they had a really good dinner and everyone enjoyed being in the new apartment and together.

I wrote a paper yesterday in record speed, and it's pretty good. I'm proud of that because I did not want to spend much time writing. I had been hooked to the news. This business in Mumbai made me very upset, and while I am okay and feeling good I am still deeply affected by it. I think about visiting Mumbai in the future, and should I spend a weekend there, one of the first things I would look for was the Chabad House. How sad it is that it was targeted by these terrorists, and why? Even the Arab news networks are sympathetically reporting on the Chabad attack. And of course the hotels. I just don't understand how this could be happening, and I sat in anticipation just waiting for it to end... It's terrible, but please just end it so that everyone can take a breath. I had a really terrible dream last night, and I woke up to find out that it had indeed ended. Finally.

A very strange thing happened yesterday at lunch at Jackie's aunt's house. Jackie's aunt is so incredibly sweet and happens to live around the corner from Jackie. How's that for study abroad? It was a delicious lunch and I got to meet a lot of the family--I know, I've been eating reallly well lately. Well, her aunt's husband joined us after the meal. As Jackie and I got up to leave, I went to shake his hand and he pulled me in for kisses--welcome to Jordan--and would not let go of my hand. He began to cry, and I panicked. Tears started to well up in my eyes also, either out of shock or out of sympathy! Jackie's aunt pointed it out laughing that I was as soft as him, then she let me know that apparently I look just like his grandson or that I remind him of his grandson. Wow. Jackie turns around to see this scene with a "shit got real" look on her face, and we manage to get out of the apartment. Now, I've confused people by not being Arab, but this was a level far beyond confusion.

Apparently I picked a good place to manage to blend in, and it feels good but sometimes makes me feel dishonest. I mean I can't just say that I look like a lot of people here because I'm a JEW and my people ORIGINALLY came from this part of the world. That might get a bit too touchy. I feel wrong even saying that because for thousands of years my family has been living in Europe and/or North Africa--I mean nobody knows for sure, really, and I have my theories. I would never argue that I have any roots left in this region, and I feel somewhat uncomfortable about pointing out the similarities between me and other Arabs or Jews and Arabs as a whole. I know that a lot of people here are raised in an environment in which these similarities are not highlighted, but rather the differences are necessary in order to maintain solidarity against the wrongs done to the Palestinians and Arab countries surrounding what is now Israel. But I have to admit, and even I feel this at the core no matter how weird it feels coming out, I may have been uprooted from this region, but I can flourish best here.

It doesn't have to be a genetic thing, a people thing, or anything like that. Simply there are a lot of Jews in Israel and the nation as a whole is portrayed as an aggressor to many people around them. There are people here who accept Israel, but you would be presented with a challenge to find someone who is "pro-Israel" or completely sympathetic to its presence and actions. I feel that I can make an impact on the world in this region, I can work for people here to better understand who Jews are and that we don't mean aggression and harm, that we can form a better Israel that is sympathetic to the plight of the Palestinian people and treats all citizens as equals, even the Arabs. Of course Israel needs to make peace with its neighbors, not only on paper but in practice as well. However, we as people need to make peace with each other in a way that everyone can view one another as another human, another life.

Skip the propaganda about the others, the brainwashing in everyone's early education, and start to build structures between us so that we can reach each other. An Israeli child and a Jordanian child know nothing about one another, yet they're told a lot about each other. Even if the Israeli is raised in an open-minded family that wishes to instill good morals in its children so that they don't become bigoted, the child will hear many generalizations about Arabs from other people, maybe even people of authority. And the same works in the reverse for Jordanian children. That doesn't mean that these children become bigoted themselves, but they have heard all about the racism that exists. Take the US for example. I have no issues with anyone because of their race, but of course I was exposed to racism my whole life. We learn about what racism is in order to fight it from spreading, but it still finds its way. Even when I was young, the racist mentality of the society in which I grew up rubbed off on me, not that I pursued it. It wasn't until I was mature enough to recognize that it was wrong to let society infiltrate my judgment in such negative ways. I always knew racism was bad, and I have always despised it, but when you are not given enough exposure to people you've been told are "different" from you, you have doubts and uncertainties. Hamdulillah I have overcome that, but it began with integration.

I did not expect to get into this subject when I sought to share my Thanksgiving photographs, but I hope you get the right idea from this. A lot of this tension stems from blindness, and I hope that I can help to defog the window through which these people are looking at each other. Maybe one day it will be okay for Jews and Arabs to laugh out loud about their common ancestry and I won't have to feel wrong about the European influences that cut me off of this region. Because, hello, it's tough to give an answer to the "why do you look like an Arab?" question while avoiding the "I'm Jewish" answer.

--Ibrahim

read me!

While postponing my research for a paper due Saturday, I decided to set up Google Reader since Ari suggested I do so--he clearly does not use it very much, but speaks very highly of it. I've put in all of my friends' blogs, some political websites I follow, some IL-PL blogs I follow, as well as tech stuff and other dorky things. When I come upon an article I think is worthy of sharing, I share it on the link I just provided. Enjoy this, and read what I read because I clearly think everyone should.

On top of that, Thanksgiving is tomorrow, and while it's not my favorite holiday, I've agreed to celebrate at Jackie's and make some food. I shall be making sweet potatoes and marshmallows (a favorite) as well as fudge for later. Insha'allah there will be a lot of food because a lot of us are coming. Happy Thanksgiving to all--especially to Native Americans cause I think they got shafted majorly in the founding of the USA and that's not alright.

--Ibrahim

bnadbak

I think that some of you should try this out, don't skip on the chatroom box, and you'll see what I mean.

I was inspired to post because of that link, but while I'm here I want to share with you some ways in which I have changed.

Exhibit A) Crossing the road, particularly busy ones. I have lost the fear that is usually instilled in me when I watch as large trucks or buses refuse to slow down as I cross their projected path. In fact, it just works. There is no good time to cross the street in Jordan but now. Occasionally cars will stop when you are directly in front of them (not gradually, but centimeters from your legs), and occasionally they even signal you to cross while failing to remove their foot from the gas--that one's confusing. Either way, I am not unsafe in my crossing of the street by Jordanian standards, but I do remember a time in which I did not possess this nonchalant attitude about stepping into speeding traffic.

Exhibit B) Wearing "winter" attire in warm weather. Well, most Jordanians are wearing their winter coats and scarves, and so am I. In fact, most days it's mid-20s Celsius. We're talking 70s Fahrenheit! In Boston, when the weather climbs above 50, I'm wearing as little as I can comfortably. Yet here, the weather has dropped below 80 and I am cold. Well, not really, but in the mornings I am and throughout the day I refuse to take off too many of my layers. So I have this Jordanian thing going on where I am bundled up and need to stay in the shade.

Exhibit C) California slang. It just so happens that I spend a lot of my time around people from California, Jackie in specific. "Shit got real" among other phrases have crept into my English vocabulary. In fact, I might even try translating that to Arabic by dropping "khara sar 7aqiqi" every so often.

Exhibit D) ESL. I cannot speak the English language good. I am full of grammatical errors and cannot remember words for the life of me. My professors ask me if I understand a certain word after they've explained it in Arabic, sometimes asking me if I know it in English. "No," I must respond, because it has slipped my mind. I get the concepts up here <>, but I cannot get them to find their way from my internal dictionary to here <>.

That's enough for now, I have a whole list somewhere in my mind and will probably start to write them down, insha'allah, in order to get them here <>.

Finals next week, along with Open Day--Yom Maftu7. Description to come...

--Ibrahim

manifesto

I think I should write one, someday. Today is not the day, but I just feel that somebody needs to write some of this stuff down. Yesterday, I might have written it, but now I am in a different place.

Since this blog is about my happenings, I might include you in this past weekend's. Well, I'm wondering if I do whether or not my program will find out if I happened to violate one of its policies. I saw Susanna, someone very close to me, like a mother, along with her mother. We were in Petra, where I stayed the two nights prior to our meeting up. It was so great and interesting to see someone I knew, to discuss what's going on with us and our worlds. I got a lot of news from home and from Israel, as she happened to come to Petra after a program she went to there. Talking to her about my experiences, she mentioned that it was so incredible to see how much I've learned. I mean, I have learned a lot, but I never realized how much this experience has influenced me and taught me, changed my perspective so drastically that I now have personal experience in understanding what this country, its identity, and its place in this jigsaw-puzzle map. It felt really great to hear that from someone who doesn't have this perspective. And it was so fun to see her!

From Run Away to Petra and Sue

The day before, I decided it was a good idea to climb to Jabal Haroun with the intention of getting invited to stay the night at the house of the guy on the top. Watch these videos to get an idea of what happened...

From Run Away to Petra and Sue

From Run Away to Petra and Sue

From Run Away to Petra and Sue

From Run Away to Petra and Sue

So I got to Um Sayhoun via donkey and caught a taxi back to town. It got dark so fast, I would have been a goner. But I'm okay, don't worry about me. I stayed with my friend Muhammad in town and received impeccable hospitality, which I dread attempting to repay because I will probably pale in comparison.

So here I sit in my apartment, a lot on my plate and it all tastes good, and what's more is that the next dish is equally if not more scrumptious than this one. I feel like my year is playing out wonderfully. However, I have realized of late that I am missing a lot at home, which I knew all along. Maybe it was Susanna's visit that brought me back to earth. Maybe it wasn't. All I know is that I want to enjoy this last bit of time in this routine until I can thrust myself into something new because this semester has been incredible and challenging.

--Ibrahim

hallabat youngin

Whoever can see this without tearing up... how?

What a relief that this election cycle is over and ended so beautifully. But let us not forget the losses. Three states banned gay marriage and one banned adoption for same-sex couples. As momentous as the victory is, as inspiring it is to millions of Americans, as beautiful a part of our history as it is, Barack Obama was right in not celebrating but rather in gathering the American people to face the challenge ahead of us. There is so much that we have to climb up from, and it is a steep climb if we do not face it together.

My friends: Jackie and I have resumed our necessary adventurousness. Qasr al-Hallabat (7allabat, youngin, woo wooo).

From Hallabat Youngin

We must have been the only ones to visit in months, although another ajnabi showed up right as we were leaving the palace. It was beautiful, old, empty, and incomplete, but definitely worth the 3 buses out into the middle of the desert for the view and the fresh air. We also saw some very industrial villages, what with the textile factories and pillars of smoke in the distance. And the best part is that upon arriving at our pickup, some friendly bedouins across the road invited us to sit for some tea and coffee.

Delicious and so friendly, we sat for an hour, I'd say, talking about our experiences in Jordan, what it's like in America (weather, culture, etc), and of course the election. In fact, one of our new friends was nicknamed Obama by his friends! I don't know his real name, but he was very pleased with the name Obama. Yes, he was black, and no, Jordan does not have the same attitude toward race that exists in the United States, to make a long story short. After our wonderful and relaxing afternoon, the bus arrived and we bid farewell to our new friends, unsure of whether or not to pay them, but we left without--tamam ao 7araam?

Later that night, I went to see the culminating film in the Palestinian Film Week at the Hussein Culture Center, a beautiful facility. It was called The Salt of This Sea, and it was an exciting and grounding experience. The main character, Soraya, born and raised in Brooklyn, goes to Palestine for the first time to retrieve money from her grandfather's bank account as well as to finally visit her homeland. Of course very little goes right, and then her and her new friends from Ramallah take matters into their own hands. My summary is pretty lame, but the link I provided is a bit better. I left the theater feeling confused, upset, and guilty--innate Jewish trait. I still feel a bit offset, but I can manage.

The semester is actually flying. I have four weeks left of classes, this being one of them. I don't know if I'm ready for moving on, and I for sure feel comfortable where I am. I hope that when the winter break comes, I will feel more ready, but I know that the emotions I have invested in this place and these people are going to be difficult to deal with when that is all gone. And on top of that, going to Israel having experienced this will be far more emotional than had I not come to Jordan. I feel as though the identity crisis was hard enough, and now that I feel more firmly rooted in what I believe my identity to be, I wonder whether or not identity is a source of comfort or a source of conflict. My connection to my identity seems to both strengthen and limit me, strengthening my feeling a sense of purpose in the world but limiting me to the task of overcoming the expectations imposed on me. I feel that identity should come after humanity, but when will the rest of the world get there? How do I move forward without imposing that belief on anyone? I suppose I can only hope and wait, perhaps pray as it doesn't hurt anyone and it might help just in case ;-)

A rather interesting process, this is here.

--Ibrahim

intikhabat

Go vote!!



I will be watching the results come in all night at Jackie's. It's pretty thrilling but I'm also very nervous, if not for the Presidential Election, which looks pretty locked, for 6th District Pennsylvania and all of the California propositions. Very big stuff happening.

I can't believe that this 8 years is finally over, there is hope now. People here think that Obama would make change in the region for the better. Someone today told me that they think that Obama would make a difference for Palestine, and I hope they are right. He is very strong for saying that pro-Israel does not mean pro-Likud, and his attitude to bring everyone to the table could be very beneficial with his wider support from the people on the ground--THAT'S US!

I felt lost today because I am just anxious and have not memorized enough words recently. I have a ton of new vocab that I have to buckle down on, so I shall be working on that tonight through the returns. And what am I doing now? Nothing but playing my ukulele.

EVERYONE GO OUT AND VOTE if you are an American citizen and have not already sent in your ballot. Insha'allah tomorrow we will enter into a new era.

--Ibrahim

pale ankles

Pale ankles and feet pretty much prevent me from trying to pass as an Arab, so as long as they're covered I'm not too far off, so says Jackie.

From Halloween in Amman

The election is coming up, and it's interesting how that plays into my daily life. The other day, as I mentioned, was the US vs Palestine intramural football match at the University--a league large enough to get sports-page mention in one of the nation's daily newspapers. We lost our first match to Somalia 10-1, and this one we put up twice the challenge by losing 9-2. One of their players happened to be on the national team. Either way, the cheering and the competition was very real to our opponents' supporters, and it got a little wild at some moments in the game. At halftime, when we were only down 4-2, it was weird feeling unsafe just because we weren't being crushed by the top seeded team. One guy told us to leave the crowd because we didn't stand a chance, but we stayed. The guy ended up giving me his Palestine banner scarf thing--not sure what they're called but it's narrow and says Palestine on it with a kuffiyeh print on the back. Very friendly, indeed!

Here's when things start to get a little more real. Tomorrow morning is our match against Syria. If things were political at the Palestine match, they're surely going to be amplified against Syria, especially after the American military decided to "take matters into their own hands..." Of course I'm going to the game, it's going to be exciting! But, this is the first game that the odds aren't completely against us... Despite my status as American and fan of the American team, I almost wish we might let them win so that nobody gets too upset with us... Is that wrong? All I can say is that my travel plans may have to change for this winter, which is an awful shame.

On a happier and lighter note, we celebrated a wonderful pagan holiday in this lovely Islamic nation... you guessed it, Halloween! I have wonderful photographs for all to flip through, but one highlight was surely the union of vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin (please keep her away from the White House, get out and vote!!) with Ari and myself as hospitable Jordanian bedouins:

From Halloween in Amman

On that note, I'm going to get to bed. Another week of thinking in Arabic, rock on!

--Ibrahim

oh coach

I just got a video from Coach...



Good thing I already voted! Either way, I think it's hilarious. And scary.

Weekend's already near, extra hour of sleep tonight. I'll be updating later to talk about some exciting stuff like the USA vs Palestine intramural soccer game yesterday!! Woot!!!!

--Ibrahim

gotta meet this guy

This version of the news item is probably the best I've seen yet. It's so sad, desperate, and beautiful. This part of the world feels hot, but I don't see that reflected in Jordanians. I want to talk to them about it. I mean, come on. I'm walking into Israel in January, a month before new elections and right after Abbas's term is supposed to end. On top of that, the Annapolis Summit "runs out" about that same time. I don't know, but I think this is a very interesting time to be in the Middle East.

Another news item, this one from jpost, pisses me off. What does this mean for me? What's going to happen from this? Why did the US attack Syria; do they really expect it to be okay? Al Hamid Lalllah (yeah I'm a bedouin, what?) the talks between Syria and Israel are not US sponsored or else I'd think they might get cut. But still, keeping a close eye on that for the next two months because if I can't get a visa to Syria I'll be one unhappy Jew.

--Ibrahim

marshmallow mateys

Delicious.

Things are smooth here. Last week was a bit slow what with exams and everyone's stress levels going up. Mine only went up because of everybody else. It's funny that I didn't dodge the stress because although my exams and schoolwork were not the source of my stress, other people's stress made me on edge. I missed some workouts, which will make this week hurt a bit more. Don't worry, though, things are still a-okay.

I've been more engaged in interfaith/intercultural dialogue recently. For example, I had a fascinating conversation with my friend about Israel/Palestine last week. You know those things that some of us have been taught that Arabs learn in school about Israelis? Well, some of them have been taught similar things that Jews learn in school. I'm convinced now that they don't really learn the radical things we're told they learn (such as violence against Israelis is okay or that one day they can run all Israelis into the sea). And guess what, the things that they hear Israelis learn (like every day in school they repeat something to do with Israel growing to be from Iraq to Egypt) aren't true either. You know, there's a lot of assumption going on on both sides to the point that people actually believe this stuff goes on. Maybe it does in the tiniest of circles among the most radical of people, but guess what... those are the tiniest of circles and neither society is proud of them.

I also learned some interesting things about Islam and Arab culture that help me to better understand the mentality. I don't know if I will convey these connections as well as I want to, but I'll try for your benefit--don't misunderstand or I could be committing a terrible sin on mankind. So, first of all, the hijab. It's pretty common here. Women wear it for a number of reasons, the main one being that they are observant Muslims. Now, wearing a hijab can be for other reasons, such as tradition in the family or a desire for respect or even because they're more comfortable wearing it because a lot of girls are. However, it does say that a woman is a Muslim. Not all Muslim women wear hijabs, of course, but it is not seen as something that is inhibiting or forced. If you are an observant Muslim woman, wearing a hijab is almost always something that you simply accept. What does it do? It displays that you are religious--although in some cases it might not be the case. it also displays that you are a Muslim. Parallel-------the kippah. Men in Judaism wear a kippah for similar reasons. You are a believer in the Jewish faith, and people know that because of your kippah. It's a very similar concept, and when I tied them together, I was like =-O

This brings me to my next point. All my life, I have been conditioned to challenge authority and rules because I was taught that in our American society, injustice does not stand. I wasn't taught to challenge just to challenge, but to stand up to something I found to be wrong or unfair. And diversity. We are all so different, different religions, races, sexes, socioeconomic backgrounds, sexualities, heights, weights, and so on... But we all can find things in common with one another. Therefore, understanding, or accepting, the larger concepts of religion unites most of us. Judaism, Christianity, Islam, and all of the other Abrahammically influenced religions have much in common. However, the little things. The laws of kashrut, wearing the kippah, observing shabbat, and going to synagogue regularly. These are the things I was conditioned to challenge and question. Why should I do them? They're so tedious, and I think that I'm a good person even without doing them. Why do I need to be an observant Jew if I already feel like a good Jew?

Here, there is generally a different outlook. If you understand or believe in the big concepts--God, the prophets, the Quran--it should be easy to accept the small things, like the hijab. A small practice such as that is such a tiny thing compared with the belief in God, and if you can handle the large concept, the small one is simply an expression, a method of expressing that belief. I feel that I am not using the right words because this is such a different vantage point than what I am used to.

Every day, I am getting more and more insight about this part of the world. I am also feeling more and more engaged in it, and I am going to have trouble leaving it.

--Ibrahim

imti7anat

Hey everyone, I'm back. This week, I had an exam and was a bit busy reading articles and notes in order to prepare. Therefore, my blog was pushed to the side while I unnecessarily prepared myself for an exam.

This past weekend I went to Wadi Hassa. Yeahhhh!! Starting by sliding down the side of a small waterfall, we hiked through the river, often climbing onto rocks and plunging down below into the murky depths that led us to a delicious hot spring. Most of the trail required walking through reeds, hugging rocks, and guessing the shape and depth of the rock on which you were about to step. It was a great time, and the several hours never got boring!

We returned, and I was starving--not dangerously, but I was very hungry. I asked my friend A7med where the best shawerma in the city was. Where is it?! Chicken or lamb? Both! Best lamb is in the second circle, and best chicken is in Swefieh. I don't live far from Swefieh, where is it biz-zabt?! So I went. I got 4 sandwiches and they were deeeeeeeelicious. I'm talking melting chicken bathing in the most delicious sauce, all cuddled by the softest bread. And four of them! Mmmmm...

This week has gone pretty quickly. It makes me wonder why it's so fast here. In fact, I've been here for nearly two months. My program is over in exactly 57 days. That's the number of Heinz varieties. That's not very long at all. I'm sad about it, even. I've made close friends, some of whom are going to Amrika right after the program, some of whom are staying for the year in il-Urdun. Yes, I'll be traveling back and forth between Israel and Jordan when I get the chance, but it will be a different life.

I love my apartment, my friends' close proximity, our dinners and naps and adventures and conversations. Some of the friends I've made here are now people I consider extremely important to my life. I didn't anticipate such emotion going into this experience, but at the same time of course it happened. I've never dropped myself in the middle of a challenge like this and taken it on so aggressively. It amazes me how infrequently I feel unsafe or uncomfortable about living here. Yes, I get uncomfortable about concealing my identity--which is necessary. However, I look around me and I feel lucky to be living in this beautiful city. I feel lucky to be surrounded by the people that surround me, both Americans and Arabs.

Going to Haifa next semester, I wonder if it will work out so well for me. I shouldn't, but I do wonder. I'm going to miss Jordan, I really fell in love with it. And yes, I love Israel, and I need to be there and bring all of my new experiences with me. I think that what I am observing in myself is a small glimpse of what the Palestinians here feel. They are Palestinians, and they are that before anything else. Of course they dream of returning to Palestine, but Jordan is still so nice. It's not easy, nowhere is, when is life ever easy? But it is nice. It is safe, beautiful, and growing. I don't want to say much more.

--Ibrahim

al jazira

It means "the island"

I live on an island. The island is at my apartment, in my head, and in a few other locations where horticultural life of the island buds instantly and withers just as quickly.

I am not alone on the island, and we frequently invite guests to observe our society. Nearly every minute, I transport to and from the island instantaneously. I will get a flash of moist ocean breeze as a thought crosses my mind. Sometimes, I return to the island to discuss my findings on the environment in Amman. Sometimes, the island is very far away. Most people cannot know what is on the island: who lives there, what happens, what is said.

Without the island, I have no home. I am not welcome.

Because I have the island, everything is possible in Amman.

--Ibrahim

bob roggio for congress

Hello all, how goes it? Shu akhbarkom?

I have just made one of the most important phone calls of the year, and that was to Bob Roggio, Democratic candidate for Representative to the US Congress for the 6th District of Pennsylvania. I saw a link on his name on the sample ballot, so I clicked it. All of the information listed was his phone number and address. So... That's right, I simply called his house and asked him why I should vote for him, right now, as I fill out my absentee ballot this second. It's literally sitting inches from my hand as I type. It's nearly complete, I just want to research some other people who are running, to be a responsible voter. Bob was a very polite man who happened to be running out the door to an event with Howard Dean, a name he dropped three times. Anyway, he insisted that I call him back later and gave me his website, but I told him that I would probably be asleep due to the time difference here in Amman. He thanked me for my interest and I thanked him for his time and wished him luck. Very sweet man, and his website got at least one vote from yours truly! ;-D

I feel the election here. It's getting so close. I'm nervous, and I'm excited. Jordan feels it coming, and everyone's asking about it, talking about it. When they hear I'm from America, they all want to know who I'm voting for. Surprisingly the Jordanian public is undecided on who their choice would be. Many are more accepting of McCain than I would imagine, considering his affiliation to the same party as You-Know-Who--they've made their minds up about him, at least. And a lot of Jordanians think that Sarah Palin is cute... Cute, maybe, but presidential? I'm sure Obama would win Jordan, but either way, they don't vote!

חג שמח to all, have a wonderful Sukkot.

--Ibrahim

leisa munasib

Hello, ya shebab! I have returned with another video. Sarah Silverman, as inappropriate as ever, reaches out to the great US of A and its Jewish voters in what hits close to home for most grandchildren of Jews. Enjoy:



On another note, this weekend was exciting and beautiful! After our Yom Kippur extravaganza, the following evening was a very serious game of Risk. But not too serious for Abe and Jackie--just a hint, this weekend is the weekend of Abe and Jackie owning. We conquered the world despite laughing the entire game while others took it very seriously. So this weekend begins a brand new world of empires: Risko Disco. Changes to the rules? You lose men from your highest country if you are not expressing joy through dance while the Arabic music plays. Got it?

Saturday. We went to Ma8tas! That is like Maghtas, but in English it is usually called Bethany-by-the-Jordan! At this site, Jesus was baptized by John...the Baptist. That's the story I got, at least. So we saw the Jordan river and got really close to Israel.

From Bethany-by-the-Jordan

That close.

Let me describe dinner, now. We walked along the road. This one:

From Bethany-by-the-Jordan

(Although this photo was taken on the way to the site, you get the idea.)

My camera died, so please forgive me that the following contains no photographs. I will do my best to paint a picture for you. I need no photos, as the memory is so rich that I will never forget it.

We followed a sign to a restaurant that took us quite near the Allenby/King Hussein Bridge--yup, to the Palestinian city of Jericho. Decided not to cross a border when a nice farmer informed us that the restaurant was back on the main road and that the one we had heard about was closed. Indefinitely. Oh well. So we had a beautiful spread of fish, hummus, and khobiz while watching the sun set over the hills of Jerusalem. We sipped our local wine and saw as the sun glared off of the Dome of the Rock, watched it sink behind the hills and saw the holy city light up as the amber sky turned to black behind it. It was beautiful and unreal.

A very interesting thing happened in my mind as I watched this magnificent munzar (view). I am okay with Jerusalem being there. I feel fine being in Jordan, with Israel over there, and me here. In fact, I feel wonderful. I know that every moment that I spend here, I am content and learning. My Arabic is improving daily, I am learning about the Palestinian and Jordanian narratives from nearly every person I see, and I am falling deeper and deeper in love with this country. Two things separate me from wishing to spend a great part of my life here and those are a) being openly Jewish is not safe or acceptable, and b) physical contact with women in public is extremely inappropriate. As well as the whole specific gender roles thing. I could not live like that forever. But Jordan is rapidly changing. All I hear is how quickly it has become such a modern place, and what does that mean when the next generation raises their children, and they theirs? What a great place to watch, and I am so glad I have a relationship with Jordan so that I will always get to watch it change for the rest of my life.

I want visitors so that I can share my life with them. Got a potential bite, any other takers? I got wastah, connections. Hit me up.

--Ibrahim

bingo for starbursts!

Mar7abtein. How is everyone? I must say, things here are great. In fact, lately I have been noticing that my life is very nice, perhaps nicer than it has been in recent years. I feel comfortable and at home in my apartment, I enjoy my friends and meet new ones all of the time, I am academically stimulated and motivated, and I am challenged every day in attempting to converse only in Arabic. I really do feel great, and feel as if I have mish mushkila--no problem.

Yom Kippur. It was not so tough. I felt reflective, tired, thirsty, and alone some of the day. I felt kind of short, rude, and cross until I recognized this--thanks to some friends pointing it out--and I forced myself to smile. At one point in the day, Ala' called us and a few of us went to a performance. Now listen carefully. This was a Palestinian and Iraqi nationalist music and poetry event, and it was beautiful. There were two men, one with a black Palestinian kuffiyeh and one with a red Jordanian kuffiyeh, tied together on two corners, waving it, and Rasha explained that "they have them together to show that Jordanians and Palestinians are like brothers." Beautiful. Between performances, massive chants started. Ari and I looked at one another, and I mentioned that I feel that if our identities were exposed, maybe we would not be so welcome or safe... It was intense, and beautiful. Full of love and passion. We had to leave for class, but I am so glad that I was a witness to an event like this because it demonstrated the importance of nationalism in the Middle East that I can only hear about or read about in the states.

Break fast last night was beautiful. We made all kinds of dishes: Ari's broccoli kugel, my spread of bageleh (the supermarket that I went to no longer makes bagels, they told me, and I was pretty sad but it worked out fine) with cream cheese and vegetables, regionally influenced salad (if I call it Israeli, will Lebanon sue me?), bread that looked a lot like challah and had raisins in it, potatoes, spaghetti with garlic and oil (not as ethnic, but quite a hit!), and desserts!! Starring... my Jewish Apple Cake, as well as some local delicacies (so local, they were apple pie, cherry pie, cheese cake, tiramisu, and Nescafe cake). It was great, not going to lie. We all enjoyed the beautiful meal with ethnic influences. Those of us who fasted, all 3, ate quickly and filled up of course. At 3am, however, lunch was eaten. Very nice evening.

Today I was considering going to a football match. Well, it was not just any football match. One team is Palestinian. One team is Jordanian. Both teams are Jordanian, as it is the Jordanian league, but it's more complicated than that. To fill in those who might be a bit behind, a huge portion of the Jordanian population consists of Palestinian refugees. The divisions between the two communities--Palestinian Jordanian and Jordanian Jordanian--exist, though not overtly in most experiences in Amman. However, at football matches? Yeah, apparently it's going to be intense. I wanted to go, but then I heard from a local friend that it wouldn't be a good idea. I remember how I felt at the concert at the University yesterday, and I imagined that with thousands more people with much more to risk and less to lose, riot police everywhere, and me being the Jew in the middle. No, nobody would know I was Jewish, but hey. Let's not play the wildcard this time. Next game, if it's less intense, maybe. But this one? I was advised against it, so I decided to save my adventures for something else. Mom and dad, are you proud of me?

I know I was going to discuss traditional marriage here, but I decided not to. It's different, and I will permit my wife to work. Take care, all, tomorrow another weekly adventure to the Baptism Site.

--Ibrahim

mumtaz

Hey everyone, it's me again. I should be asleep, but I'm kind of wired. Is it wrong that I update my American politics mainly through word of mouth, foreign newspapers, and this?



I hope not. Either way, anyone see Tina Fey do Sarah Palin lately? I thank Anna a ton for sharing me with that, cause wow that was a laugh.

Tomorrow I am taking the placement exam for the Arabic program here. It will not change my level, but it will show them that I am actually at a level higher than the one that I am in, insha'allah. I've been kind of frustrated with being portrayed incorrectly to the language program because I think they find me to be a) a freak and b) pushy. I feel bad being in my class because most of the other students don't want me to be there. I don't get called on because I know the answers.

Okay, I'm sorry for bragging or whatever, but this language is very similar to Hebrew. It's ridiculously similar in grammar and often vocabulary. I almost laugh when I hear words like samiin, which means fat, the Hebrew shamen. In addition, this is the fourth foreign language I have attempted. I have spoken to my professors privately, and they agree that I need something more. So I will most likely be getting private sessions and extra work, although I would rather sit in a more challenging class and have to complete the assignments for both levels; it is impossible for me to move levels officially because registration is closed, therefore I must complete the coursework for Level 2.

But tomorrow is my placement test, which will apparently mean nothing. I shall do my best, and I hope that that proves my ability to go at a faster pace.

Besides the language class frustration, I am getting better at Arabic daily! I speak in Arabic with friends at the university most of the time, rarely going into English. It's hard, but it's so worth it because I'm more and more comfortable with it. My comprehension is increasing a lot as well. Also, I feel great here. I've surrounded myself with the right people, and I feel great about that. I have a nice place, a good routine, I'm working out regularly, and I'm eating a ton----------

I lost 15 pounds since I've been here, and don't worry about me please. I think between Ramadan and the massive change, my body got hit. But Ramadan's over, and I am eating something at almost every waking moment. I am working out well, and I eat at least 3 or 4 meals a day. Double lunches because they're cheap and delicious. Dinner? Supersize me. Don't worry, healthy food as well. Very! The cuisine here is just right.

I made shakshouka last night for Domestic Domonday, and it was a massive success. Yom Kippur starts tomorrow evening, and we've got plans for it. I'm hosting break fast, and until sunset I will be in search of bagels. I love being a Jew in Amman, and I love getting to share that with my friends--Jews and non-Jews alike. Shana tova u'metukah, kul 3am u intum bikhair!!

More to come soon, thoughts on marriage and dating in Jordan.

--Ibrahim

kul 3am u intum bekhair

From 3id al-Fitr - Climbing to il-Fowg

I figured I would start this entry at the peak. This, my friends, is the monument at the peak (fowg) of Jabal Haroun, or the Mount of Aaron, where Aaron the prophet was buried. It was a long journey, over three hours ascent with our guide--forgive us for forgetting his name--and his donkey Simo3. If you can't pronounce that 3, don't worry. Here's Simo3:

From 3id al-Fitr - Climbing to il-Fowg

It was a pretty awesome climb, especially having woken up at 4-something in the morning to catch our first bus to Ma3an, then catch a bus from there to Wadi Musa--which did not exist, by the way. We made plenty of friends along the way, discussing everything from breakdancing to Allah knows what. Our descent was very nice, each of us taking turns riding Simo3, and we crashed at about 9pm after a gigantic and delicious dinner provided by our hotel.

Day 2, 6am, we crawl our sore bodies out to the bus. We ride down to Wadi Rum, the whole way working out the details of our day and a price that is suitable to the group for our voyage to Jabal Umm Adaami--the tallest point in Jordan--and accommodations for the night. No we are not rich, yes we have been to Wadi Rum, and yes we know exactly what we want to do. So we did it.

From 3id al-Fitr - Climbing to il-Fowg

So three of us made it up, the trail nowhere to be found until the way down. We pushed ourselves up, trying to hydrate and stay strong despite our lack of sleep and tough climb from the day before. We literally climbed this mountain, lots of being on all-fours and figuring out the best and safest way to get to the next plateau. At the peak, we enjoyed some of Assad's Arabic music, rusks with peanut butter, and views of all of Wadi Rum and Saudi Arabia, as the mountain is situated right on the Saudi border with Jordan.

Here's what happens when three adventurers hit delirium due to excitement and dehydration:



We watched the sunset from a small rock mountain near our camp and returned to a delicious dinner. Chicken that slides right off the bone and into your stomach, onions that were crisp on the outside and molten on the inside. Yeah, dinner was great. We became pretty close with the guys who worked at the camp, particularly Salim, who played the 3oud. Assad and I learned some songs from him and 3oude, another guy who worked at the camp, and we sang well after dinner until it was time to watch the stars. Along with Stephanie, the three of us followed shooting star after shooting star until it was time to go back to camp and sleep. We lost the camp, though... We see a white figure running towards us. Salim! It's no coincidence that Salim means "safe" because he ran after us to make sure we did not walk all the way back to the village as opposed to the camp, which we simply bypassed. I swear, this man treated us with such loving kindness, mostly expressed through song and the expressions that his eyes made.

The next day, all but the three of us left. We spent the day in Rum Village, getting ourselves invited into house after house, as children from the village kept promising us we could find camel milk in their homes. Most everyone treated us with the most polite hospitality, though unfortunately none had camel milk. We accepted some tea offers, then went to the Guest House where we played some cards to kill time. We made a friend, Mahmoud, with whom we exchanged card tricks, some games, and lots of language. In fact, by this day, my Arabic had progressed so much. I began to feel confident in explaining myself, describing my experiences, asking questions, and even getting to know people in the language. Especially with Assad's persistence in communicating in Arabic with everyone we met, I was able to be pulled up to a new level of understanding and ability that I am extremely proud of.

We returned to our camp in the afternoon, played some more cards with the guys at the camp, met some travelers from all over, and went back to the sunset. We ate dinner, followed by songs. This time, however, we knew the songs, and Salim played the ones he knew that we would follow. The other travelers got a kick out of us, and we felt great, comfortable, at home.

Then, something happened. Assad argues that he could write a thesis about this one experience alone, and I believe it. We had brought materials to make s'mores the night before, but our friends had left. So, the three of us offered s'mores to the entire campsite, not too many people, and our hosts. Excuse me? Something as American as s'mores were brought to a Bedouin campsite in Jordan? The reaction that the French, the Bulgarians, the Australians, and especially the Jordanians had to these sandwiches left some in bewilderment and others in disarray! Salim was amazed at such a creation, but could not eat because he had bad teeth--which we sang about in Arabic after that, while he had a roasted marshmallow on a stick sticking out of the tuning peg of his 3oud. 3oude did not enjoy the s'more so much, but he was pleased to see us try. The foreigners liked them or didn't, but either way, they were pleased to see a positive aspect of American culture. I guess we didn't factor in the effect it would create to bring s'mores to the bedouins, but it was really interesting, for sure.

We went back to the desert to watch the stars, and exhausted from the week, I felt pretty contemplative. In the past few days I had climbed two of the tallest mountains in the country, seen ancient monuments to even more ancient events, gazed into Israel and Saudi Arabia, and began to communicate--really communicate--in a language that before one month had been almost completely foreign to me. On top of that, I had done this with people that I barely knew but had become extremely close with in almost no time at all. It stuns me that such a deep relationship can form instantaneously given the right circumstances and experiences, and we had them. We did Jordan the right way on this break, and I can't be more proud of the improvised success that we found.

Today was the journey back to Amman and civilization. Dirty, covered in sand, and sore, we got back to the village where we, of course, met some Syrians who made us welcome in their cities when we get the chance to visit. Our friend Mu7amad came on the bus with his dad to collect us, and we went back to Petra, where we were to connect buses to Amman. Mu7amad sat with us the whole way, no longer the tourists that tried to bargain him down a few days before, we were now his friends and welcome to visit any time we wanted. We extended our invitations to our places in Amman as well, and the whole ride was filled with story-telling. We got to Wadi Musa (Petra), and went for a little walk with our friend. He took Assad and I (Stephanie resting on the bus) to the fruit market where we met a few uncles--they are all great men, all fat, but soft, we were assured. We got some fresh fruit and ate riman (pomegranates) on the ground of the market, saying hello and kul 3am u inta bekhair (may all year and yourself be in goodness, to translate that literally) to all those that passed, most relatives of sadigna (our friend). And that was it, really. We took the bus back, went to our respective homes, and showered out the sand and dirt that enveloped us from our awesome adventures.

From 3id al-Fitr - Climbing to il-Fowg

Thank you for sharing them with me.

--Ibrahim

Umm Qais ya Outlawz

Kifkom ya Outlawz? Outlawz Gang. They run Irbid, and we found out from their graffiti that said "Outlawz Gang" of course.

Today, we went to Umm Qais, and oh boy was it worth it, no matter the fact that our service taxi driver to Irbid was slightly narcoleptic. Backtrack, we pull over on the side of the highway after he had laid his head to rest on the wheel. He goes to his trunk.

"Oh, I'm so happy that this is happening! He's going to pray right here," said one or two of us. What a story that will be! Too bad it wasn't our story. He splashed some water on his face, wiped off on a dirty towel, and got back in to drive. Five minutes into the drive he puts his glasses back on then steers around bends with his knees while he combs his hair. Whaaaa...

From Umm Qais ya Outlawz

We got there. What's that you see in the background? Kinneret! The Sea of Galilee! And Tiberias! And the Golan Heights!! So close, we felt as if we could simply walk down the hill and take a dip in Jesus's boatless gondola pool.

From Umm Qais ya Outlawz

From Umm Qais ya Outlawz

From Umm Qais ya Outlawz

After a wonderful day of dilly-dallying around some pretty sweet Roman ruins by one of the most controversial borders in the world, we headed back in a car that was clearly not a service taxi. Not a great idea, but the guy promised we wanted his car because he spoke English better than the other drivers. Ooookay...

Check out the rest of the photos here, and enjoy watching the weekly adventures of myself, Jackie, Andrew, and Shane.

Bishufkom!

--Ibrahim

fil mesjed!

Ha HA!

I do it every time.

So tonight we met our peer tutors, and mine, Haitham, is a great guy! Already holding my hand (that's normal in Jordan, by the way). He's so happy to finally meet me, and I him.

After iftar, we went to a mosque for a class of mine: Intro to Islam. I start out doing what everyone's doing, prostrating and all, and then I made some friends, of course! A bunch of kids, Abdullah, Ahmed, Ahmed, another one I cannot pronounce, and I was practicing my 3arabi. We decided to ditch services to go drink some tea in the back. So fun. So when it was time for us to go, people were like "dude you always know people," as always, haha. If I sound pompous yet, just you wait.

We go out to the street, and a car comes past, "Ibrahim!" It's Hani shouting from a car, and everyone goes, wait.. what? I feel like I own the streets, when people call my names from all different directions.

This is me in Amman.

--Ibrahim

connect

This is me updating my blog!

I want to make a few points. Shame. We had a discussion in my internship class the other day about shame versus guilt. In America, there is a lot of guilt. However, Jordan is a shame-based society. Shame and pride. Shame and honor. It's true, too, most of the time. A taxi driver will test my honor to see if he can a) rip me off, b) pretend not to understand to where I am going, or c) rip me off. This is just an example, and I know that the taxi driver example seems to be overused in this blog, but it is truly the most common and frequent cultural clash that I have in my day-to-day life here. When I am persistent in getting what I deserve, going where I need to go and paying the correct amount, I have won his respect and I come off as an honorable person, no matter how rude I must be in order to win it.

At the same time, this works on the flipside. If a friend and I were to get into an argument and that friend comes to apologize for being rude or forgive me for doing something wrong, he most likely will not say so. His presence is simply enough of a gesture to show that we are on better terms. We move on. Bring up the instance again, and that could be the end of the friendship, even if I am trying to apologize. It's over! Get over it! Swallow your pride and move on, do not bring up that shameful moment again because it is far to uncomfortable and serious to ever want to acknowledge that it happened. It won't go away, but you can leave it for what it is without drawing attention to it. That's the Arab mindset about honor and shame.

In addition to this glimpse into my understanding of this topic, I wish to discuss travel and relationships. I am privileged to have traveled independently quite a bit, as many of you know. Why did I go to Spain? Well, to practice my Spanish and feel the culture, the Spanish life, the air in Spain, see it, taste it, hear it, smell it. I did that, but I sure did make some great Irish friends there. Learned about Ireland, Northern Ireland, their culture, their accent, lifestyle, attitudes, mindsets. In fact, I happened to learn more French in England than I did in France! I made a French friend on the way over.

The point is, I'm here to learn Arabic, meet Arabs, learn in the Arab mindset, feel the Arab culture, and immerse myself. I find that no matter where you are, the people who come into your life are in your life. I'm not in Jordan to search for American or Jewish friends, nor am I here to practice my Norwegian, Spanish, or Hebrew. But guess what, as much as I am apart from my life at home, I am still in a part of my life. It's great to meet people with whom I can do all of these things while at the same time surround myself with all of the 3arabiyya that I want. I will connect with whom I will connect with, and that's just what I'm doing. One of my closest friends since first grade lives across the street, and that's comforting and exciting. I bond with people who are eerily similar to me, come from eerily similar backgrounds, and even saw Rocky Horror Picture Show at the same inappropriate young age as me. I know Jews, Arabs, Armenians, Catholics, (Half) Asians, Caucasians from Asia, sensational people. How exciting this liberally conservative metropolis is!

That being said, it's late, and I am tired. It was a long week with a lot of soul searching. Seeing Israel all weekend put it in perspective that that world is just so close. I am closer to Jerusalem than all of the people in Tel Aviv. I'm not permitted to cross that border in this program, and well, that makes me uncomfortable for reasons including my inability to be open about my heritage here as well as my need for independence and freedom. Travel request forms, what a bitch.

Goodnight to all, wherever in the world you may be reading this from. Ramadan is over in 4 days, and I cannot wait for lunch dates to resume.

--Ibrahim

illa il-janoub

As you can tell by my broken-Arabic title, we went to the south of Jordan this weekend!

From Kifkom Ya Shebab

This is me, in Wadi Rum! It's so beautiful. Soft, fine, red sand carpets the vast expanse with jagged mountains jutting upwards towards the clear, blue sky. The pools of sand that ride up into dunes that you sink into contrast with the razor-sharp mountains to create a feeling of being in an epic adventure, parking your camel to climb to the top of the mountain in order to look out into the distance to see if you can find water.

From Kifkom Ya Shebab

Watched the sunset and slept below the stars, both this night and the following night in Petra. In doing so, my camera managed to collect sand and refuse to focus unless I had zoomed all the way in. That wasn't going to work, so I had given up.

In Aqaba, we saw Israel, Egypt, and Saudi Arabia. It was unbelievable how close Eilat and Aqaba are. How massive Eilat is compared with the other cities. How blue the water in the Gulf of Aqaba is. How strange it is to be in between all of these vastly different nations. I had thoughts of jumping out and swimming to Israel, not thoughts of doing it but thoughts of the hypothetical. Thoughts of leaving my program, after all, I have enough credits to take a leave of absence, and just exploring this entire region, learning by doing. But they were just thoughts.

From Kifkom Ya Shebab

Ari and I, at the top of Petra, looking out into the Arava Mountains, reaching for the Holy Land--goofy! Petra is so beautiful. The Nabataeans really knew what they were doing with a chisel and hammer.

From Kifkom Ya Shebab

Indiana Jones, anyone?

We got back, and I was so incredibly wiped. Plans coming up for 3id (holiday after Ramadan), hoping to do Wadi Mujib and maybe Jabal Umm ad Dami, the highest point in Jordan--but I cannot find much info on it so I might have to do more research.

You can view the rest of my photos, and please do enjoy them. Comments are welcome, of course.

Classes are going great, have not heard back from internships yet, but if I do not by Tuesday, Ari and I are going to research working in falafel stands--he probably will even if I don't get a placement. West Bank Story, eh?!

This afternoon, after class, had a great time in the CIEE office with Ala' and Rasha. We played Spanish music, looked at photos, taught each other languages, and discussed some personal issues, like my being Jewish and Israel-Palestine. This last issue is a topic that all of us are interested in pursuing, and that makes me glad. Telling people that I'm Jewish is always thrilling and I love to see the reactions. Today, my friend Lena said, "It's okay, I accept you." Hah! She better!

Well, for now, my friends, I'm out. Take care, and enjoy my new photos!

--Ibrahim

welcome to the tribe

...she said to us as she handed us a plastic shopping bag containing a box.

Welcome to the tribe.

That's right, wi-Tribe. I HAVE INTERNET IN MY APARTMENT!

It happened so suddenly. Yesterday, I was walking with my friend Laura, who lives with Kathy, to Umniah, my cell provider. They have options to put your SIM card into a dongle that gets internet on your computer...slow internet. Well, Laura told me about the tribe. She said she was a member. So I went to her apartment and she showed me a device that looked awfully like a black, modern office building. Like this:

I am broadcasting the internet through my computer to Andrew's, and together we share high-speed internet for just 39JD a month!! Walla!

I am working on getting the microphone on my computer to work again so that I can not look like a fool with a headset. If I must, I must, but if not, I would like to put some videos up of my explaining my experiences to my audience. Your humble narrator wishes greatly to appeal to those following his journeys and even his routine with various forms of media in the most fashionable way possible.

I am on my way out to get a copy of JO Magazine and to meet with an editor of said magazine. I hope that it goes well and that I find myself comfortable in the company of the world of journalism. What an exciting possibility! Between this opportunity and the Jubilee School, I cannot go wrong. I am still awaiting an email back from them, but I know that the meeting went splendidly.

On having internet in my apartment... I'm free to do what I want, any old time. That includes:

• reading Israeli news
• Skyping in private, in order to discuss being Jewish, verbally dwell upon events in the Middle East, speak in Hebrew, and just feel as though I can be comfortable when speaking in English out loud
• check my email when it is necessary
• maintain connections to family and friends at convenient hours for both of us
• be more available for those who wish to speak with me

Of course, another gained advantage of having internet is that I can update this blog without having to make it an errand!

Wish me luck on my interview, and do take care.

--Ibrahim

3youn Mousa and THE WANDERING JEW

This weekend, Jackie and I went to Mount Nebo and Moses Springs. YES, this is the Moses Springs, or 3youn Mousa, where Moses struck a rock and out came--you guessed it, hot commodity--WATER!! But as you know, he hit it too hard, God got pissed and said, "You shall not go to the holy land." He went up on Mount Nebo, saw it, and somewhere around there he died and was buried. It's a pretty intense place.

While Mount Nebo is incredibly guarded and cared for, unfortunately Moses Springs and the building built by it are covered in graffiti. The bedouins nearby bring their goats and lambs to drink from the spring, which goes through some small crevices in the polluted rocks until it falls down a beautiful, green, viny waterfall into a small stream. Here are some photos from the trip, which was ridiculous.



























After getting ripped off and abandoned at Mount Nebo, we explored as the place emptied out. We felt very alone, and a man working there called someone to offer us a ride to Moses Springs and take us back to Ma'adaba, our waypoint to 3mman. Our driver, Ahmed, spoke very little English and enjoyed throwing rocks at Jackie while yelling "ta3li!" as she trekked through the rocks in flip flops on a swollen ankle (not my story to tell).

We didn't get R'ed in the desert, nor did any of the questionable cars break down. I drank from the well, of course, and so far, no dysentery--at least no more than I already may have had. It was such an experience getting to be there, though, and drink from the water that may be flowing because God himself made it! Amazing to think that thousands of years ago, the Jews were wandering through that exact same spot. And here I am! Wandering! THE WANDERING JEW IN THE SANDS OF ARABIA. Hehe, I like that.

Well, my friends, I have a quiz tomorrow in Level 2 Arabic, yay for me for kicking my butt and skipping Intro. Domestic Domonday was tonight, 3rd one, and we are just getting better and better at this whole dinner party thing. Oh, and I joined a gym so I am feeling healthy and active. Adios amigos,

--Ibrahim

PS - See the rest of my photos from the weekend.

ana badrus lugha arabiyya

Good morning to all.

Yesterday was the interview with the Jubilee School, a part of the King Hussein Foundation. It is a high school for gifted students, most of which come from poor areas of the city or the country. I got a great vibe from them, as I offered to volunteer to assist in English classes, Science classes, and after school activities to help students with English. It's a boarding school, so most of the students live there, or at least a good number of them. It's a really nice school, and I hope they take me and that my schedule works for them.

Level 2 Arabic is pretty good. Surprisingly I am doing very well in the class, having not had any Arabic. It also helps that the more I learn, the more I think it's the same language as this one. Seriously, very close first cousins or half-siblings or something.

Had a moustache for a few days, that was ridiculous. Photos coming up soon, I had such an amazing trip this weekend! I can't wait to tell all about it. It was beautiful, personal, and spiritual. The suspense...

--Ibrahim

two days later

This is an essay of an entry that I wrote yesterday when I woke up:

Yesterday was the 11th of September. Now, I am sure that by starting this post in such a fashion, many people are going to assume that I am going to discuss the events that happened 7 years ago in New York, Pennsylvania, and Washington. Perhaps the feeling here on the 11th would have been different, with any sort of reaction or acknowledgment of the attacks and perhaps some sorrow for the effects that a few extremists brought upon this country, who couldn't have had less to do with the attacks: strain on economy, extreme decrease in tourism, and a vast misunderstanding of the Muslim religion and Arab culture.

But no, this is not something that I was planning to discuss. The 11th of September is special to me because of what happened two years ago. Without getting into too much detail, I must share that in the past two years, to the day, things have not looked the same to me. My first year at school, I felt that I was not really there. I felt that I was home, since that was where the changes in my life were being made. School was just the setting in which I was physically, and as a result it was very difficult to make many close relationships with people there. But my attention at home sent me thinking, trying to find more meaning in my own life.

Last summer, controversially, I went traveling in Israel and Europe for three months. I say controversially because I wanted to be home, to spend time with my family. The year had been extremely stressful, and our relationships strained through some very difficult decisions and dynamics. We had moved to Downingtown, which is easily called Bumblefuck if you are used to the city being 10 minutes away. Going home was stressful and always unpredictable. These new policies of honesty and emotional expression made me feel invaded. While I felt this way, I knew that my family was making positive steps toward becoming a stronger, healthier unit.

A wise man once told me that there are two types of pain in this world. There is the pain of death, and there is the pain of birth. What my family was going through in that year, and even longer than that, were the pains of birth. It took several years, but I feel that the place we are in now is so good.

Being in Europe last summer, I discovered two things:

* I don't really belong in Europe
* I am fascinated with and in love with the Middle East, particularly Israel/Palestine

What I did not discover was what that would mean. I discussed taking drastic measures to address my new love with my family, and quite honestly they were upset and I was confused. It was as if I wanted to make everything in my family feel right so that I wouldn't have to run away, while at the same time I wanted to have a new life. I could not have both.

My desire to learn as much about Israel/Palestine in the past year led me to take several classes, read several books and essays, and talk to as many people as I could about the culture and conflict. I began to learn Hebrew, made plans to learn Arabic, and traveled back to the region in the winter time. I went through religious phases, nonreligious phases, and fell somewhere in between, where I felt comfortable.

In February, when I decided to spend a year to study in the Middle East, I no longer felt guilty for leaving. Anna is in New York, Sarah in Arizona, my parents are going to Philadelphia, and here I am in Amman. We are all over the world; don’t worry, I know that I'm a bit further out there, being on a separate continent and all.

Since the 11th of September, 2006, we have all grown so much. My parents have found themselves countless times within the past year, making changes to their lifestyles and still pushing through the busy lives that they have, becoming even better people than the great people and parents they were before. Anna is in New York, doing what she's always wanted, and while it's challenging, she's growing each day she hits the pavement. While we're not in touch as well as I would like to be, I feel that we are closer now than we were when we lived 15 minutes apart in Boston. And Sarah, sorry guys but she gets the gold. As we speak, she's in isolation in the mountains of Northern Arizona on a backpacking trip. Won't you guys look up Prescott College? I'm thrilled to see her going to college and pursuing a life of her own. I can't wait to call her when she gets back to civilization!

Here I am, in Amman, Jordan, looking at the next few months with ambition and the months following that in Haifa with the widest eyes you've ever seen. I feel that my family's physical dispersion as well as our progress has led me to take this year without feeling that same selfishness that I felt last summer, when I was in Europe and the Middle East. I can be here without worrying about never coming back (I think and hope), and I am having an experience that is enhancing and completing my education in a way that none other could. I sit here in Amman, learning more about myself and this part of the world each day, sometimes seriously uncomfortable, counting the seconds to crossing the border, but that's when I'm learning most.

For those of you who persevered and read this entire entry, I commend you. For those of you who didn't, sorry for filling up your screen with a dauntingly long area of text. I will be working on the internal microphone in my computer to try and get a video up on this site within the next few days.

Ma as-salame,

--Ibrahim