i believe i owe you an

update.

I didn't get to Lebanon. In fact, I barely got in Syria. After 20 minutes at the border, Syrian security informed me that I would have to return to Jordan, immediately. The infuriatingly long day of trying to get a transit visa, I realized my Arabic was pretty good. And I decided, that since travel to Lebanon overland was impossible, I would go visit my friend Dina in Haifa. It had been forever.

I spent 4 nights in Israel, all at Dina's new house. Her mom was incredibly sweet and fed me nonstop, and we also had some very interesting conversations. Her five-year-old brother Osher and her eight-year-old sister Orel were adorable, and they helped me to relearn and get back on track with the Hebrew I was desperately trying to find in my head. We played so many games, and we went to the playground once, even, where we played some games I never had heard of until that night. And Dina, we spent such good time together and talked about a number of different things. Some very heavy conversations that helped me realize that, wow, I'm about to enter a very very very different environment. All kinds of confusion and emotions to think about. Let's just say I've got my work cut out for me in terms of figuring out how to relate to this whole situation next semester.

Been speaking about these issues, like who am I to change someone else's society, an imperialist? with some friends here, but then again, it always ends up somewhere else because I am Jewish. Israel is a self-proclaimed Jewish state, and its existence relies heavily on the fact that should I need to, I have a place for refuge, being a Jew. In addition to that, no matter where I go, being Jewish means I am associated with the large community of Jews in Israel and its government. Israel exists for and represents me, and therefore I should have a right to play a role in its society and progress. And I do not tolerate racism, whether it is exerted on denationalized Palestinians in the West Bank and elsewhere in refuge or whether it is exerted on Israel's own Arab citizens who can never do enough to be treated equally by their own government. I understand that the notions of racism are portrayed and understood very differently in a wide part of Israeli society, but my understanding of this sensitive subject is influenced largely by my upbringing in the US, where racism is something that our country has been battling for hundreds of years and continues to fight today. And it's not just racism, it's prejudice against any certain group. This is a global issue that must be addressed, whether there is popular support for or against it, in all places on this planet.

Moving on, I had some trouble returning from Israel. There was a Hannukah party in Amman that some official people from a country nearby had invited us, the Jews and some other notable people in Jordan, to attend. I thought about going and decided I probably wouldn't because it was Jackie's last night in Jordan. However, had I gotten back in time, perhaps I would have convinced Jackie to come with Ari and I. As I keep inferring, I did not have enough time to make that decision. The Allenby Bridge closed just before I arrived with my taxi driver, forcing me to travel all the way back to the North in order to cross that bridge before it closed. Well, that sure cost a pretty penny getting up north again, and then coming back down south in Jordan.

But that's not all.

Upon exiting the West Bank, there's a little checkpoint. My Arab Israeli taxi driver, who has never been stopped at one in his life, and myself, the American Jew, were seen as a suspicious bunch, I suppose. We were taken aside, next to a large van of Arabs, some of which spoke Hebrew. As we waited for instructions, several cars passed through the checkpoint without delay. My driver kept asking what the problem was, as did I. I was surprised that my American passport was so suspicious to them, but they did ask me at one point if I had another passport. I did not mention that I was Jewish, as I did not think it was relevant (well obviously it was, but is it fair for us to skip ahead this large group of Arabs?)... We waited, they asked us to get out of the car, open every door, the trunk, the hood, take everything out, bring it in to get checked. The car was sniffed by dogs, our bags and items were x-rayed, we were sent through a metal detector and patted down thoroughly, and then we had to wait in a fenced in area with the other group until it was time. No, you may not close your car. No, you may not leave. It isn't important why those people can pass. We waited about an hour before it was time for us to become "free" again. As I went in to fetch my belongings, I spoke with one of the guards who seemed to be a ringleader. We were free, but I thought I might give her a piece of my mind. It went, in wonderful Hebrew, something like this:

I am an American Jew, and I am on my way to Amman, Jordan because I studied Arabic there for a semester. Because of this, I am late to a Hannukah party hosted by the Ishpaeli Shmembassy (maybe I shouldn't type it out for security reasons). Never in my life did I imagine that the Israeli army would make me, a Jew, late for something like this, but at the same time, it does not surprise me. Chag Sameach.

Her jaw dropped, and I exited, proud. She walked back to her other companions and looking at me, must have been telling them the story. I discussed this with my taxi driver afterward, who kindly was taking me 4 hours out of his way so that I could get back to Jordan, even though I paid, it was such a schlep. He told me that he's married to a Jewish woman, and I told him how beautiful I thought that was. We bonded for a moment, and I'm sorry I didn't get his number because he was so cool. I got to Jordan, got to Amman, and spent the night with my friends. It was a long, tiring day, but it was an experience. I zig-zagged through all of the northern half of Israel and the West Bank, saw a lot of things that I forgot to describe, but it's okay, I'll tell you when I see you, and I saw, firsthand, the racism that is not only accepted but also made part of the system.

Just doing some errands this week, getting things together, and taking in the city through this very strong wind-sandstorm that has engulfed the city. Spending time with friends that I won't be as close to next semester. Enjoy some photographs from the past week or so...

--Ibrahim

PS - Merry Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!

see more pwn and owned pictures

media

Hello, folks. It turns out I cannot upload the videos I intended to share from this connection. Ya haraam. However, I would like to share with you my photographs from this past week's ventures into Israel as well as beforehand, when Lippers came to visit...

It's been interesting being back here. I feel comfortable but almost expecting people to just loosen up a bit or something? Not people I know, but people in general. It feels a bit more claustrophobic than I left it. Maybe that's just me comparing the liberalness of some people in their conservative surroundings whereas in Israel it's a small conservativeness surrounded by liberal surroundings. Everything feels more open there: discussions, expression of self, everything. So I have less of a filter here now, and maybe I should cool off and go back to being more cautious as I was prior to this trip, but at the same time I feel comfortable enough that I'm not being disrespectful.

Passport stuff in line, got my stamps transferred, and nothing can stop me from getting to Lebanon now except the Syrians! Wish me luck. Funny story, today at the residency office here in Amman, the man who was going to stamp my new passport and I were conversing, small talk, and he threw in a "Kul beseder?" Huuuhhhh?! :-\ I said "mish fahim, shu y3ani?" to avoid it, and he just smiled. This man assumed I spoke Hebrew somehow, I guess he could tell from my name or he just knew I was transferring the stamp because I had traveled to Israel in the other passport. Either way, it was kind of ridiculous. Almost as ridiculous as the guy, originally from Irbid, who served us falafel in Jaffa who said "Ahalan wa sahalan fil Urdun" (Welcome to Jordan). In Jaffa! Seriously, only in this world.

Fare thee well!

--Ibrahim

warm light on a winter's day

I'm not sure where I last left you, O my faithful readers. However, I do know this. I tried to get some videos up before I left for the holiday this week, but I didn't get there. As a result, the next post will have videos for your entertainment, and it should be up shortly after this one.

Classes have wrapped up, really, no more. Khalas. It was a quick end, some of the professors weren't quite aware that it was happening when it was, but it happened. I am left now with two exams (one tomorrow and one the next day) and a paper due sometime this week. The exams are Arabic language, Modern Standard, and the paper is about Islam. I'm thinking about writing about gender roles in Islam and how it is one point of contention between the West and the Muslim World that may never reach a middle ground. At least not blanket, of course in communities it varies, but we're talking about the religious beliefs and the societies that prescribe to them versus the general Western culture in Europe, Australia, North America, and other parts of the world.

Moving on from that, let's discuss some other things. The travel policy changed for our program, not sure if I mentioned that yet. So Ari and I went to Israel for Eid al-Adha. So did a bunch of other people from the program, and they seem to be very impressed with the place, as they should be, it's unreal what they have done with that land. "You know where I lie politically," they would say, "but wow is that place impressive or what!?" I don't really know where they lie politically, but I just went with it. But let's get back to my experience.

I felt a bit uncomfortable at first because I was tired, hungry, and undergoing severe culture-shock. It was the first time I had left Jordan since I first arrived here, and I was blinded by green, wet from the rain, and couldn't figure out what was going on around me. I got over the bad mood, and we spent our first night in a hotel in Metula which neither of us should have afforded.

Metula... There's a small town in the very north of Israel in a tiny little piece of land that sticks right into Lebanon called Metula. In this tiny town there is a place called the Canada Center where Arab and Jewish Israelis flock to try something in which both groups are just not talented--ice skating. It was fascinating. Ari volunteered there for a while during his year living in Israel after high school, so we got in for free--sweet. I enjoyed circling around, and a group of Arabs from a school near Nazareth came in. I ended up talking to just about all of them, in Arabic of course, and teaching some of them some technique cause they asked--ridiculous because Ari is meanwhile flying around the place doing jumps and spins and whatnot, the whole time complaining about how bad he is because he doesn't have his skates and he's not warmed up, but what did he expect? He was a star. Meanwhile there I am showing kids just simply how to move. It was really fun, and a very interesting experience to speak in Arabic in Israel with these kids. They were very impressed that I spoke at all, let alone with some competency, and it made me feel very excited for the opportunities that are coming next semester.

We spent two nights with Ari's cousin and her husband in Ramat Gan, a city right next to Tel Aviv. They are incredibly sweet, and very smart. We had great conversations about everything, and laughed a lot. Our full day in Tel Aviv, we walked the whole city. Walked with our jaws dropped at the big trees, the green everywhere, and made our way to the beach to enjoy the sound of the waves and the breeze off of the water under a nice warm sun. We then walked down to Yaffa, the old port city that Tel Aviv was built next to--you know it, I'm sure. It's so pretty, and we spoke more Arabic. I swear, this experience was totally different because everywhere we went, we could speak the local language. What a concept! Got great falaf, walked around, and watched the sun set from the rocks above the beach by the promenade. It was beautiful. Not to mention the culture in Yaffa! An Arab city with Arab kids making out on the beach, in gardens, with nobody to judge them. It was beautiful. The chances of that happening in public in Amman are just about zero, and it's very interesting to see how quickly the culture changes just after you cross the border. So close, but such a different world.

We got to Jerusalem the next day and met up with Jackie and Nancy, her mom who is in town for a while. It was great to see them and hear their stories about border/security crossings, exploring East Jerusalem and the Old City, and good food. We ate some good food and went to Marzipan to get the best ruggelach in the world. 2 kilos to bring home to Ari's host family and our own indulgence. We dropped them off at the Christian quarter where we took a few pictures, and headed out to Haifa.

It was interesting being at the University. I loved seeing Marnina, Alicia, and Jeff, and I even got to see Miriam for a minute! We took some Brandeis reunion photos. I met a few people who would be there next semester as well, and it was nice. Not sure I am thrilled to hear about the academics, specifically the Arabic program. And the housing situation is a difficult decision. There are really nice dorms and old and less nice ("disgusting") dorms. If I live in the new ones, I will most likely be living with Israeli Jews, which would be wonderful. However, I kind of want to live with Arabs in order to keep up with my colloquial Arabic and get a different perspective on living in Israel. The older dorms have more Arabs, and while I want to live in that setting, the older dorms are also double rooms (lack of privacy). Both options have ridiculous excuses for kitchens, so no huge meals like I'm used to here. I'm going to see if it's possible to live in the newer dorms with Arabs, and if not, I will probably live in the older ones. I mean come on, I've lived in terrible situations at Brandeis, I can handle it. And I'll have places to go if I need to sleep out, insha'allah...

Well, Haifa is beautiful, needless to say, and I got to see my good from Tom, who will not be around for the majority of the time I'll be there next year! He's going to South America, like many post-service Israelis. It's too bad, also, because he lives so close to the university, and he's one of the sweetest guys in the world. I'm really looking forward to having Allie there, though!! It's great because she's like family to me, and I'm really excited that we'll be there for each other in very pivotal points of our lives.

Sum it up? This trip to Israel was more frustrating than enjoyable, I must admit. I was frustrated with my decay in the Hebrew language, but then got into this funk where I didn't even want to try the rest of the week. What?! Me not wanting to try to speak in another language? I spoke much more Arabic this week than Hebrew. I was especially uncomfortable speaking Hebrew with Ari around because I felt that his experience in the language not only took care of whatever I needed or wanted to say, but I just couldn't keep up. When the train started rolling with him on it, I didn't grab on, so I just stayed put. My comprehension was better than I had imagined, but I just couldn't get anything out. It was so incredibly frustrating! On top of that, I also realized that my open-mindedness and exposure to the Arab world is very unique in Israel. Very many people are open-minded, but they may not have the experiences that I have in living among Arabs in the way that I have. My experiences are very strange to them, and that will not change. And that makes me proud. I know that my experience next semester will be extremely unique, and that makes me feel so powerful and capable of digging into the society in unique ways. I feel like I'm going to learn so much, and that's such a beautiful feeling! But still, I need some sort of respite or something, and maybe another trip back there on my own in order to just plant my feet a little.

So here I am back in Amman, cleaned a lot today in order to get ready for our apartment inspection. Place looks good. I haven't studied yet, and I know I need to start to get on that for my test tomorrow. I'm not sure which one will be harder, but I do know that I haven't started my paper either. The next few days will go quickly, and then it's on to Lebanon for me, assuming I get through Syria. Wish me luck!

--Ibrahim or Avraham, and sometimes both.