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| From Thanksgiving in Amman |
I invite you all to see the beautiful photographs from our Thanksgiving dinner here in Amman, Jordan. We managed to pull it off despite initial fears when the gas went out. Turkey, sweet potatoes, macaroni and cheese, broccoli kuggel, mashed potatoes, stuffing, stuffing, vegetarian stuffing, pies, and fudge! There was more, too, I'm sure. Jackie was a perfect host, and the meal was delicious.
After the meal we fell onto the couches and did not move. We watched the news intently about Mumbai, saw some Rihanna music videos on Polska tv, and called our respective families back home. I got jealous when Ari's whole family crowded in front of the webcam to say hello and ask him what Arabic words he could say because I got my parents a webcam but it isn't setup since they moved. It's been months since they moved, and I just wish I could have seen them by now, especially last night. Still, I spoke with everyone a bunch of times, and it was really nice. It sounded like they had a really good dinner and everyone enjoyed being in the new apartment and together.
I wrote a paper yesterday in record speed, and it's pretty good. I'm proud of that because I did not want to spend much time writing. I had been hooked to the news. This business in Mumbai made me very upset, and while I am okay and feeling good I am still deeply affected by it. I think about visiting Mumbai in the future, and should I spend a weekend there, one of the first things I would look for was the Chabad House. How sad it is that it was targeted by these terrorists, and why? Even the Arab news networks are sympathetically reporting on the Chabad attack. And of course the hotels. I just don't understand how this could be happening, and I sat in anticipation just waiting for it to end... It's terrible, but please just end it so that everyone can take a breath. I had a really terrible dream last night, and I woke up to find out that it had indeed ended. Finally.
A very strange thing happened yesterday at lunch at Jackie's aunt's house. Jackie's aunt is so incredibly sweet and happens to live around the corner from Jackie. How's that for study abroad? It was a delicious lunch and I got to meet a lot of the family--I know, I've been eating reallly well lately. Well, her aunt's husband joined us after the meal. As Jackie and I got up to leave, I went to shake his hand and he pulled me in for kisses--welcome to Jordan--and would not let go of my hand. He began to cry, and I panicked. Tears started to well up in my eyes also, either out of shock or out of sympathy! Jackie's aunt pointed it out laughing that I was as soft as him, then she let me know that apparently I look just like his grandson or that I remind him of his grandson. Wow. Jackie turns around to see this scene with a "shit got real" look on her face, and we manage to get out of the apartment. Now, I've confused people by not being Arab, but this was a level far beyond confusion.
Apparently I picked a good place to manage to blend in, and it feels good but sometimes makes me feel dishonest. I mean I can't just say that I look like a lot of people here because I'm a JEW and my people ORIGINALLY came from this part of the world. That might get a bit too touchy. I feel wrong even saying that because for thousands of years my family has been living in Europe and/or North Africa--I mean nobody knows for sure, really, and I have my theories. I would never argue that I have any roots left in this region, and I feel somewhat uncomfortable about pointing out the similarities between me and other Arabs or Jews and Arabs as a whole. I know that a lot of people here are raised in an environment in which these similarities are not highlighted, but rather the differences are necessary in order to maintain solidarity against the wrongs done to the Palestinians and Arab countries surrounding what is now Israel. But I have to admit, and even I feel this at the core no matter how weird it feels coming out, I may have been uprooted from this region, but I can flourish best here.
It doesn't have to be a genetic thing, a people thing, or anything like that. Simply there are a lot of Jews in Israel and the nation as a whole is portrayed as an aggressor to many people around them. There are people here who accept Israel, but you would be presented with a challenge to find someone who is "pro-Israel" or completely sympathetic to its presence and actions. I feel that I can make an impact on the world in this region, I can work for people here to better understand who Jews are and that we don't mean aggression and harm, that we can form a better Israel that is sympathetic to the plight of the Palestinian people and treats all citizens as equals, even the Arabs. Of course Israel needs to make peace with its neighbors, not only on paper but in practice as well. However, we as people need to make peace with each other in a way that everyone can view one another as another human, another life.
Skip the propaganda about the others, the brainwashing in everyone's early education, and start to build structures between us so that we can reach each other. An Israeli child and a Jordanian child know nothing about one another, yet they're told a lot about each other. Even if the Israeli is raised in an open-minded family that wishes to instill good morals in its children so that they don't become bigoted, the child will hear many generalizations about Arabs from other people, maybe even people of authority. And the same works in the reverse for Jordanian children. That doesn't mean that these children become bigoted themselves, but they have heard all about the racism that exists. Take the US for example. I have no issues with anyone because of their race, but of course I was exposed to racism my whole life. We learn about what racism is in order to fight it from spreading, but it still finds its way. Even when I was young, the racist mentality of the society in which I grew up rubbed off on me, not that I pursued it. It wasn't until I was mature enough to recognize that it was wrong to let society infiltrate my judgment in such negative ways. I always knew racism was bad, and I have always despised it, but when you are not given enough exposure to people you've been told are "different" from you, you have doubts and uncertainties. Hamdulillah I have overcome that, but it began with integration.
I did not expect to get into this subject when I sought to share my Thanksgiving photographs, but I hope you get the right idea from this. A lot of this tension stems from blindness, and I hope that I can help to defog the window through which these people are looking at each other. Maybe one day it will be okay for Jews and Arabs to laugh out loud about their common ancestry and I won't have to feel wrong about the European influences that cut me off of this region. Because, hello, it's tough to give an answer to the "why do you look like an Arab?" question while avoiding the "I'm Jewish" answer.
--Ibrahim
